4.23.07 - selfish vs. selfless

self·ish [sel-fish]
– adjective
1. devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.
2. characterized by or manifesting concern or care only for oneself: selfish motives.

is it acceptable to be selfish? if so, under what conditions? is it even considered being "selfish" if you choose to care for yourself because you need it? i think the natural answer is that it's ok to be selfish in order to take care of yourself. but is that really what god desires for our lives? i realize that being "selfish" is charaterized by being concerned only with oneself, but is there some kind of balance that tips us one way or the other? what do i do when i want to do something, yet don't feel like i have to freedom to do so?

these are questions i've been struggling with lately. i think i may need a vacation. ptl for golden week coming up! konshu mo gambarimashyo!

god, you know my heart, you know my desires. help me to be sensitive to those around me, but most of all, to the ways you want to work in me and through me. teach me what it means to be selfish and selfless, so i can better understand how to live a life surrendered to you.

-------------------------

the way i was made
chris tomlin

caught in the half-light, i ’m caught alone
waking up to the sunrise and the radio
feels like i ’m tied-up, what’s holding me?
just praying today will be the day i go free

i want to live like there’s no tomorrow
i want to dance like no one’s around
i want to sing like nobody’s listening
before i lay my body down
i want to give like i have plenty
i want to love like i ’m not afraid
i want to be the man i was meant to be
i want to be the way i was made

made in your likeness, made with your hands
made to discover who you are and who i am
all i ’ve forgotten help me to find
all that you’ve promised let it be in my life

-------------------------

talk to me |

4.11.07 - out and about

greetings from singapore! i was in penang, malaysia yesterday, and now, spending the rest of the week in singapore & southern malaysia. i had a wonderful easter, and i know many of you have been waiting for me to post the pictures. well, i finally got a chance to jump online, so here they are.

anyways, i'm exhausted, so i'll update more next time i get a chance to jump online. but in the meantime, i just wanted to say "hi" and share this song by charlie hall that has been speaking to me a lot lately.

-------------------------

bravery
charlie hall

and as we talked i was speechless
for my heart pounded
and as we walked a little while
i knew that i’d been found
and here i am no more disguise,
no longer blinded
i see it clear, i am yours, i am yours

and you are breath taking and breath giving

i rise above all the flattery and frowns
i put my head up to your chest
and listen for sound
you make me brave every time i see you smile
i see it clear, i am yours, i am yours

doesn’t my heart burn within me

-------------------------

talk to me |

4.03.07 - that time of year again

despite the recent fluctuations in the weather, it has warmed up enough for the sakura to bloom. i love this time of year because the otherwise concrete city is accented by fluffy clouds of white/pink. soooo beautiful! it's also kinda cool that the sakura are in bloom during easter week. since japan doesn't celebrate easter, there are no indications around town that it's easter week. if it weren't for church, i probably wouldn't have even noticed that it's easter. but the sakura are almost like god's way of decorating the city in preperation for the celebration of the sacrifice that jesus made for us.

mike & ellen are visitng this week. it's been really nice hanging out and catching up with them. i'm grateful for the chance to be able to share a part of my life in tokyo with more friends from home. not to mention some of tokyo's wonderful cuisine as well.

well, have a great week and a wonderful easter!

-------------------------

the wonderful cross
arranged by chris tomlin

when i survey the wondrous cross
on which the prince of glory died
my richest gain i count but loss
and pour contempt on all my pride

see from his head, his hands, his feet
sorrow and love flow mingled down
did ever such love and sorrow meet
or thorns compose so rich a crown

o the wonderful cross, o the wonderful cross
bids me come and die and find that i may truly live
o the wonderful cross, o the wonderful cross
all who gather here by grace draw near and bless
your name

were the whole realm of nature mine
that were an offering far too small
love so amazing, so divine
demands my soul, my life, my all

-------------------------

talk to me |